Surfing, with its exhilarating rush of adrenaline and communion with nature, is a passion that captivates many. Yet, for parents, the thrill of catching the perfect wave can often be overshadowed by a nagging sense of guilt. Why is it that moms and dads feel guilty when they leave their kids to go surfing? In this blog post, we'll delve into this complex emotional terrain, exploring the reasons behind parental guilt and how to navigate it.

1. The Myth of the Perfect Parent

In today's society, there's immense pressure on parents to be 'perfect.' This myth perpetuates the idea that parents should prioritize their children above all else, 24/7. Leaving your child for any reason can trigger feelings of inadequacy, as if you're somehow failing in your parental duties. But it's essential to remember that no one can be a perfect parent all the time, and taking time for yourself is not neglect; it's self-care.

2. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)

Parents often experience FOMO, not for parties and social events, but for their children's milestones and moments. Missing out on a child's first steps, a recital, or even a simple smile can be heart-wrenching. Parents may feel guilty that their passion for surfing is causing them to miss these precious moments. However, it's crucial to strike a balance between nurturing your personal interests and being present for your children.

3. Societal Expectations

Society tends to reinforce traditional gender roles, with mothers often feeling the brunt of societal pressure to be constantly present for their children. Fathers, too, may face criticism for pursuing their hobbies when they should be 'working.' These societal expectations can contribute to the guilt parents feel when they choose to go surfing, as it seems to contradict the traditional role of a caregiver.

4. Lack of Quality 'Me Time'

Parents, especially new parents, frequently find themselves sacrificing their personal time for their children. Surfing, or any other hobby, can become a valuable way to recharge and maintain mental and emotional well-being. It's essential for parents to recognize that taking care of their own mental and emotional health ultimately benefits their children by making them happier, more patient, and more present caregivers.

5. Overcoming Parental Guilt

a. Communicate: Talk to your partner, family, or friends about your passion for surfing and the importance of finding time for it. Building a support system can alleviate guilt and help you find time for your hobby.

b. Schedule 'Me Time': Just as you schedule doctor's appointments and playdates, schedule time for yourself. This ensures that you're not just waiting for a convenient moment, but actively making time for your passion.

c. Quality Over Quantity: It's not the quantity of time you spend with your children but the quality of that time that matters most. When you're with them, be fully present.

d. Self-Compassion: Remember that you're only human. Guilt is a natural emotion, but it should not control your decisions. Be kind to yourself and prioritize self-care.

The guilt parents feel when they leave their kids to go surfing is a complex interplay of societal expectations, personal pressures, and the immense love they have for their children. However, it's essential to understand that taking time for oneself, pursuing passions, and maintaining a sense of self is not selfish but a necessary part of being a happy and well-rounded parent. By finding a balance between your interests and your responsibilities, you can ride the waves of parental guilt and enjoy the thrill of surfing without reservation.